Thursday, February 17, 2011

The final answer to the republic question

Way back when we had a referendum to answer the republic question once and for all; I was of the opinion if it ain’t broke don't fix it.  In those days I had not been convinced that there was any point to Australia becoming a republic.  It all sounded like a lot of hassle for not much gain.  However, if a referendum were held tomorrow I would be far more likely to vote for it.  I'm still not fussed one way or another.  The only argument that holds any real sway for me now is the fact that Australia is so multi-cultural.  We are no longer a bunch of poms invading this land.  We are not even just Europeans any more.  Now we are every nation all mixed up; that is what makes Australia great.  I love travelling around and seeing all types of people.

The Union Jack on our flag no longer represents the history of Australia and all her people.  This one is simple to fix, just remove the Union Jack.  A blue flag with the Southern Cross and the Commonwealth Star suits me fine.  The Commonwealth Star represents all the states and territories and can be made bigger to fill the void.  While the Southern Cross (at least for me) represents that we are all one people under the Southern Cross.  That is one problem solved.

I say the first Australians have a point when they say "Invasion Day" instead of "Australia Day".  Again, easy fixed.  Move the day to another date that has no meaning one way or another.  Who actually thinks about ole Cookie at Botany Bay while wearing the Green and Gold and cheering at the cocky races?  While we are at it, lets have an extra day off for "First Australians Day" as a celebration of Aboriginal culture.

Now the biggie... what do we do about the Monarchy?  I reckon I have come up with the perfect solution.  We need to have a competition to find Australia’s most Aussie Chick.  It would make for great tv.  My vote is for Kylie Mole.  We then marry her to Prince Harry.  Harry needs to become an Australian citizen and breed up lots of little Aussie Princes and Princess.  We can then ditch Queenie, Charlie and Willy; we will have the party Prince.  Maybe the first generation of Aussie royals can breed with the Dutch Royals to get Mary's bloodline back in Australia.

Hazza, as I like to call him, can be King of Australia.  We will keep him busy cutting ribbons and greeting foreign leaders while we get on with business.

Everyone is happy, the flag is fixed, we have proper celebrations of being Australian and our history and we have severed formal ties with England; plus we have our very own Monarchy for the tabloids to scrutinise.

And the best part, we have a blood nut King!  How Aussie is that?

Skeptimite had spoken.


  1. You forgot to mention the small issue of the national anthem... I, for one, am keen to hear your opinion on it!

  2. Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again by The Angels could be an appropriate anthem.

  3. Jess, you don't like being girt by sea?

    There is nothing wrong with the words to the anthem we just need to change the music: